Well hello.
It has been a VERY long time since my last post, I have been on quite a journey and unfortunately I didn't take the time to write and share it, and there is no way I could transcribe it now. I will however say that I am happier then I have ever been, as far as my memory recalls, with the exception of losing my grandmother. I think it was through the unimaginable pain of her lose that the phoenix rose from the ashes. Losing my grandmother I very nearly lost my identity, because everything I did and everything I was, was due in large part to who she believed I was and/or could be. I did whatever it took to make her happy and proud and those thing defined who I was. I'm not saying I believe that through her death I was able to become who I really wanted to be, but I did realize the importance of being true to myself. Thankfully for me, none of what my grandmother wanted as detrimental. Anyway, though I miss her more than I even knew was possible I am glad her suffering is over and I know she is proud of the women I am becoming, because she wanted nothing more in this world then for her "pretty girl" to be happy.
With that said, I really am happy! I finally feel like I'm living my life and not waiting for it to begin, and that is an AMAZING feeling.
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